Okay... so I try really hard to keep my emails fun, upbeat... and skimmable (even if they are long) 🤣
But to be honest, with Masturbation May and the focus on Women's Health this month, I have been desperate to get nerdy.
I'm passionate about women
I'm passionate about health
I'm passion about education
So this email is a little more knowledge intensive (and if you want more like this, hit reply)
Because we are going to talk KEGELS.
Like, really talk about it.
The What
The Why
The What Goes Wrong...
And the part I get questions about?! The How!
Let's dive into it 👇
Pelvic Floor Muscles
What They Support, Why Exercise Matters, What Goes Wrong When They Weaken, and How to Do Kegels Properly
Your pelvic floor is a group of muscles, ligaments, & tissues that form a bowl, especially a sling-shaped “hammock” at the base of your pelvis. These muscles are crucial for everyone, regardless of gender or age, and they’re often overlooked until there's a problem (and sneezing when you pee is the least of them.) Strengthening them with exercises like Kegels can prevent or improve many common issues.
What Do the Pelvic Floor Muscles Support?
Think of your pelvic floor as the foundation that holds everything in place inside your pelvis.
These muscles:
Support the bladder, bowel (rectum and colon) & internal reproductive organs.
In women: Hold the uterus, vagina, and rectum.
In men: Support the prostate, bladder, and rectum.
They also help control urination, bowel movements & sexual function, while contributing to core stability & posture.
... So they are kind of important.
Why Is It Important to Exercise Them?
Strong pelvic floor muscles are a built-in support system.
Regular exercise (like Kegels):
✨ Prevents or reduces urinary & fecal (yikes) incontinence.
✨ Improves sexual function (better arousal, stronger orgasms & erectile function in men).
✨ Supports pregnancy, childbirth, & postpartum recovery.
✨Helps with core strength, posture & even reduces lower back pain.
✨Lowers the risk of pelvic organ prolapse.
Just like you train your abs or arms, these muscles need regular work to stay strong... especially as we age, after pregnancy, surgery, or with chronic straining (coughing, constipation, heavy lifting). As we age, our muscles start to deteriorate, especially if we’re not actively engaging them. This happens even if you did not give birth, which seems to be the only time anyone talks about. Keeping your muscles healthy & strong as we age can help prevent a lot of long term health issues.
What Happens When Pelvic Floor Muscles Are Weakened?
Weak or damaged pelvic floor muscles (from childbirth, aging, menopause, prostate issues, obesity, or chronic straining) can lead to:
Urinary incontinence (leaking when you cough, sneeze, laugh, or exercise).
Fecal incontinence or accidental gas leakage.
Pelvic organ prolapse (organs like the bladder, uterus, or rectum drop downward, causing a bulging sensation or discomfort).
Difficulty emptying the bladder or bowels (constipation or straining).
Pain during sex, erectile dysfunction (in men), or reduced sensation.
Pelvic floor dysfunction (muscles that won’t relax or coordinate properly).
These issues affect millions of people & can seriously impact quality of life, but they’re often treatable with the right exercises & professional help. Remember, I'm not a doctor, and I can't give medical advice... but I can tell you about poop leakage to scare you into making it happen 🤣
How to Properly Do a Kegel Exercise (Step-by-Step)
Kegels are simple, discreet & can be done anywhere once you master the technique. The key is quality over quantity—focus on the right muscles & proper form because you actually can do it incorrectly!
Step 1: Find the right muscles
Squeeze the muscles you use to stop the flow of urine midstream (do this only once or twice to identify them—don’t make a habit of stopping urine this way). Or pretend you’re stopping yourself from passing gas.
Women: You’ll feel a gentle lift in the vagina & rectum.
In men: they’ll feel a lift around the penis & scrotum (testicles may pull up slightly).
Bonus tip: Insert a clean finger into the vagina & squeeze—you should feel a tightening around it.
Step 2: Perfect your technique
Imagine lifting a marble or “sucking up” the muscles toward your belly button (which is also a great sex technique).
Tighten for 3–5 seconds (or as long as you can without strain).
Relax completely for the same amount of time.
Breathe freely—don’t hold your breath or tighten your stomach, thighs, or buttocks.
Step 3: Build a routine
Do 10–15 repetitions per set.
Aim for 3 sets per day (morning, afternoon, evening).
Start lying down, then progress to sitting and standing.
Gradually increase hold time to 10 seconds as you get stronger.
Make it a habit—consistency is more important than intensity.
What about Kegel Exercisers?
Kegel Exercise Balls vs. Stimulating Toys Targeting PC Muscles...
Both Kegel exercise balls (Ben Wa balls or vaginal weights) & stimulating toys (like vibrating pelvic floor stimulators, vibrating Kegel balls, or electrical stimulation devices) can help engage & strengthen the PC muscles — the core part of the pelvic floor that you squeeze during Kegels. However, they work in very different ways, serve slightly different primary purposes, and have distinct pros/cons.
Here's a clear breakdown to help you choose (or combine) them based on your goals — whether it's pure strength training, better continence, sexual pleasure, or a mix.
1. How They Work
➡️ Kegel Exercise Balls (Non-Vibrating or Basic Weighted)
These are small, weighted balls (often silicone, metal, or glass) inserted into the vagina. Your PC muscles (and surrounding pelvic floor) automatically contract to hold them in place against gravity. It's passive resistance training — similar to holding a dumbbell to build strength. Some have a small inner ball that rolls/jiggles for subtle feedback or mild vibration from movement.
➡️ Stimulating Toys (Vibrating or Electronic Stimulation)
These actively stimulate the PC muscles through vibration (mechanical buzzing) or electrical pulses. Vibration creates sensory feedback & can trigger reflexive contractions or enhance arousal. Electrical versions send gentle pulses that make the muscles contract & relax automatically — no voluntary effort required at first. Many are probe-shaped or insertable with app control, programs, or biofeedback.
2. Primary Purpose & Focus
➡️ Kegel Balls:
Strength & resistance training. Best for building voluntary control, endurance, and progressive overload (start light, go heavier as you improve).
➡️ Stimulating Toys:
Active stimulation + often pleasure. Vibration adds sensory/motivational boost; electrical does "passive" workouts (great if you struggle to isolate or contract the muscles correctly).
3. Which Should You Choose?
Start with Kegel balls if: You're new to pelvic floor work, want something simple and low-tech, or primarily need to build voluntary strength & body awareness. They're great for progressive training (lighter to heavier sets) & can subtly enhance sexual sensation.
Go for a stimulating toy if: You have trouble finding/activating the PC muscles, need motivation to stick with exercises, or want faster results/combined pleasure. Vibrating options add fun and blood flow; electrical ones are clinically backed for stubborn incontinence or very weak floors.
Many people combine both: Use weighted balls for active sessions, then a vibrating/electronic device for passive boosts or when you're short on time or energy.
And don't stress it too much! If this is a major chore, you won't do them, and I know this got a little more technical... but it's because you matter... and so does your pelvic floor.
Quick Safety Reminder:
Always start slow, use plenty of water-based lube, clean thoroughly & don't wear balls for hours (especially if new — risk of fatigue or tightness).
If you have pain, prolapse, severe incontinence, or uncertainty about your pelvic floor (weak vs. too tight), consult a pelvic floor physical therapist first — they can assess and guide the best tool for you.
If you have ANY questions on finding something to help, reach out.
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LINK TO: Kegels & Dilators or Sexual Health Collection
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